Ah, greetings, old chaps! ‘Tis I, sir Oscar Gough, back again with my gentlemanly slot-related musings and ponderings. Last month, I was personally invited by the Queen to celebrate princess the lovely Princess Beatrice’s 28th birthday, and dare I say, it was a lovely celebration! I don’t typically take time off of my slot hunting activities, and if I am to be quite frank, the sole reason why I went were because Elizabeth used to be a sweetheart of mine back in the 1930s, before she met that oaf Phillip. Ah, it feels like it was only yesterday when I, a mere professor’s boy with nary a noble blood cell in my veins, would sneak through the window of Buckingham Palace for some afternoon tea and crumpets with my darling… But I digress! I do have to, however, rather gentlemanly admit that the ceremony pleasantly surprised me, with a very intriguing selection of wines to accompany the gratuitous amounts of food that covered the tables in the main hall. “Ah, a 1926 Chardonnay! A classic! We’ll never get a year like that again,” the oaf Philip sighed melancholically as he absentmindedly poured himself a glass. Of course, I immediately considered interjecting and explaining that wine doesn’t taste all that different regardless of its brand, year or grape variety, but alas, my thoughts were preoccupied by something else. And what, pray tell, could possibly occupy the mind of a gentleman slot hunter? Why, slots, of course!
“A classic! We’ll never see one like that again!” It’s a phrase I’ve often heard tossed around like an unwanted child during a divorce, especially when classic slots are concerned. We know them as “The Avengers”, “South Park”, “Mega Moolah”, “Aliens”, “Gladiator Jackpot” and many more, the slots that every self-respecting slot hunter begins their journey with. The classics are undoubtedly the best that the slot industry has to offer, which is why almost every online casino savannah proudly presents them right on their very new front page. However, there is but one teeny-tiny problem with all of those slots – they’re older than tea! Most slots that are popular today came out quite a few years ago, and while new ones keep getting made, none of them seem to be able to reach quite the same level as the old classics. But why is that? Is it because we reached the high point of slot machines years ago and now are as unable to make something better as Americans are to choose a decent President? After all, we do see a lot of slots being released all the time, but usually those releases go rather quietly and under the radar. Is it really as simple as a matter of quality? Fear not, good sir, for the answer is that much simpler – it’s but a matter of marketing.
While the art of slot hunting is a refined one, sadly not many fine folks practice it. Most prefer to stick to one slot that they like and only move on to something different if they get sick of what they were already playing. Furthermore, most people don’t like to spend too long selecting their slot – they prefer to have a few options available to them. In theory, having a wide selection is great, but in practice, us humans are flawed creatures and prefer to be rather limited. Let’s take, for example, the infamous jam study from 2000. One day, researchers set up a table at a supermarket allowing customers to sample 24 varieties of jams. On another day, they only presented 6 types of jams. While the bigger selection certainly attracted a larger crowd, it was ultimately the people who sampled the fewer jams that ended up buying more. Online casino savannahs work in the same principle – most online slots are merely there to attract attention. A savannah boasting 300 slots ripe for hunting is way more enticing than one that only has 80. However, once the slot hunter has signed on, their attention is directed towards a very limited selection of hand-picked slots in order to make sure they’re not overwhelmed. There’s nothing stopping them from browsing around and hunting for more elusive prey, but most places would REALLY like you to sample their six jams first before going after the 24.
But which slots are selected to be showcased? That’s where marketing comes in. Have you noticed that the most famous slots are all based on big, famous movies? “The Avengers”, “Aliens”, “Game of Thrones”, “Gladiator”, “The Dark Knight”, “South Park”… The overwhelming majority of these slots are based on popular movies and TV shows, and by “popular” I mean “even the Queen has heard of them, and she doesn’t even have Internet access” level of popular. With them, the level of brand popularity is far more important than the quality of the slot… And don’t get me wrong, they’re all brilliant slots, but they’re not the only great slots out there. Just the ones with the most recognizable names. So, to answer the question posed by my own subconscious, shall we ever see another “classic” slot? Why yes, undoubtedly we shall… The moment NetEnt obtains the rights to a movie that made over a billion dollars, that is.
Greetings, my fellow slot hunters! It is I once more, yours truly, sir Oscar Gough with another article meant to assist you, fine gentlemen, in your hunt! Jolly, this truly sounds like an awful infomercial, doesn’t it? My most sincerest, apologies, folks, allow me to go back to my point. Many of you are already rather skilled in the most fine art of slot hunting – I have received more than one electronic letter from you detailing your adventures in the dangerous steppes of the online slots. But what many of you expressed concerns about is that slot hunting, while a most spectacular activity within its own right, is but one of the many, many different ways one can spend the time in the online casino jungle. Of course, as a proper gentleman, it is only right for me to have knowledge of other forms of gambling, such as roulette or blackjack. So allow me to share a few small tips with you that could enhance your hunting experience.
Things most certainly don’t look very good for Macau’s nightlife, especially when it comes to casino gaming! Being one of the very few Asian regions to allow legal gambling, Macau has been a den for gamblers all over the region, with numerous casino resorts opening across the country (especially in more recent years) specifically meant to attract foreigners. However, after it was exposed that certain casinos in Macau had been involved in a myriad of illegal activities, such as money laundering, Chinese president Xi Jinping would not let that stand. A series of rather public crackdowns followed, which scared off a lot of casino regulars (especially the high rollers), leading to a significant drop in profits.
Every casino site has a “Cashier” – a place where you can deposit money that you can use later in the online casino. On some websites it might not be called the Cashier – it could be a “Deposit” button, or something along those lines. But since all casinos want you to deposit more than I want a cup of black tea on a Sunday afternoon, the cashier should be quite obvious everywhere you go. It’s usually accessible through the main page, but sometimes you need to log in before you can view it. Overall, it shouldn’t take you more than 30 seconds to access it. 
Once you’re in the Cashier, you should be able to see the PayPal option quite clearly. Sometimes it’s listed as a separate button while other times it needs to be selected from a separate menu, but it’s always there. There are more casinos that support PayPal than there are Englishman supporting the English football team! So if you don’t see the option right away, try looking around for a bit – it’s bound to be there. 
Keep in mind that this step doesn’t necessarily come up right away – sometimes it happens right when you select PayPal, sometimes the choice of how much you want to deposit comes up alongside the one detailed in Step 2, and sometimes it shows up during step 4 (on the PayPal screen). It really depends on the caisno, but really, you’re going to get that choice sooner or later, otherwise how is the casino going to know how much money you want to deposit? Contrary to popular belief, British people can’t actually read minds, at least not over the Internet, so unless you specify it you’re not going to be able to complete the process! When you’re done simply click on Submit and move on!
Now comes the interesting part! After you’ve clicked on Submit you should get a new window open, or maybe a tab depending on the settings of your browser. You should see something very, very similar to the screenshot above, with the casino’s logo and/or information on the left and a log-in box on the right. Just add your PayPal username and password (I assume that you already have an account made and funds added – if you don’t, what are you even doing here, anyway) and then click on Log In. On the next screen, you’ll be allowed to choose a payment method (if you’ve only got one listed, such as a credit card or a bank account, then don’t worry about it – you don’t have to click anything, it’ll automatically select itself) and then click on the Pay Now button. 
In the late 2000s, my hunting safaris took me to the dangerous savannas of the online casinos, where I found dozens of new species to catalogue for my Gentleman’s Animal Slots Almanac. The variety in the fauna there was astonishing, even more so than in the casino steppes where I had previously hunted! There were not only animals such as lions, foxes and caterpillars, but also mythical creatures such as dinosaurs and dragons, each with their own unique slot! When I first discovered this, I was in most utter disbelief, but after composing myself over a cup of tea I came to an important realization – the joy of hunting rare animal slots must not be for myself alone! As such, I have decided to make my Gentleman’s Animal Slots Almanac public record, to allow whoever wishes to experience the thrill of the hunt a chance to do just that! Now join me, old chum, and let’s see what brilliant animal-themed slots we shall uncover together!